See The Carpet of the Sun
by Jillcb
Summary: This is the first of three Merthian stories, for the Merthian Appreciation Month. Please understand that for this story Merlin in Camelot's Court Sorcerer. When Princess Mithian is staying in Camelot she realises she is in love with Merlin. But she faces an uphill struggle to overcome destiny and fight for her right to be with her man. Can I thank Wil1969 for her wonderful picture.
1. Chapter 1

_**See The Carpet of the Sun**_

 ** _Author's Note. This will be my first of three planned Merthian stories. ExcaliburMaiden is planning a Merthian Appreciation Month, so please visit her tumblr called She Will Be Loved if you are a Merthian fan. Please note for this story Merlin is Camelot's Court Sorcercer. When Mithian realises shes in love with Merlin she faces an uphill struggle to overcome destiny and fight for her right to be with him._**

 _See the carpet of the sun_

 _The green grass, soft and sweet_

 _Sands upon the shores of time_

 _Of oceans, mountains deep_

 _Part of the world that you live in_

 _You are the part that you're giving (By Renaissance)_

Mithian smiled as she drew back the curtains, outside the sun was already shining warm and bright on the gardens below. It was the third day of her stay at Camelot, and the time was flying by fast. She had been invited by her friend Queen Guinevere, to attend the special Summer Festival that the Queen herself had founded. Every July the children of the lower town would get their chance to perform for the King and Queen of Camelot. It gave ordinary people a chance, to sit and rub shoulders with the nobles of the court. On this special day no one was more important than the stars of the show themselves.

As Mithian tucked into a quick breakfast in her room she smiled as she remembered the children who only yesterday had danced and sung their way around the Great Hall, bringing the grand room alive with laughter and pleasure. Mithian had felt honoured to have been sat next to Arthur and Guinevere, as they honoured the children and parents afterwards. She remembered one sweet girl who upon presenting Mithian with a bunch of flowers, had then run away to her mother shouting, "I have met a real Princess mother and she was lovely."

A knock on the door interrupted her memories, bringing her into the present with a jolt. Turning her head towards the door she called. "Come in." Mithian expected it to be the maid Sian that had been serving her since her stay in Camelot. But to her surprise eventually the smiling face of Merlin greeted her.

"I thought I would drop in and say hello. I have been incredibly busy of late, no excuse though not to have spoken to you before now." He smiled,

"I was led to understand that you were in Cenred's Kingdom when I arrived." Mithian smiled back, "I know you are now Court Sorcerer at Camelot but not even you could have managed to say hello from there!"

Merlin shrugged. "I still feel very neglectful if you can forgive me Princess."

"I can if you can call me Mithian." she corrected him, with a smile. "Well now you can make it up to me if you can find any time."

Merlin nodded. "That will be a pleasure Prin- I mean Mithian."

"Maybe we could find time for a walk later." Mithian suggested, pouring him a glass of water.

"Thank you. Yes that would be nice although I am indeed busy I can also arrange my own days, when nothing untoward's happens."

"May I ask what happened to take you away?" Mithian asked, curiously.

"A magic matter, that Arthur wanted me to look into. As it happens it was a fuss about nothing, as magic matters often are. Sadly magic still frightens some people."

Mithian noticed just how much it pained him to admit it, and she suddenly felt tremendous sadness for him. It had been almost a year since Merlin had been made Court Sorcerer of Camelot after saving his Kingdom from Morgana. She knew a lot had changed for him, but she also realised by the look on his face, that there was still much to do, before people generally could accept magic in Camelot.

"I was so happy when I heard you'd been made Court Sorcerer. In fact I can even remember the very day I found out. For what it's worth I thought you were very brave, and I know in the end that people will come around to accepting magic. You must have faith in yourself." She put her hand over his and for a moment they did nothing but stare at one another. She had no idea how long they stayed like that, but Merlin's sudden movement from his seat almost shocked her, as she came too.

"Er thank you MIthian." Merlin coughed, "I had better get on I will aim to be around in the afternoon if you have no other plans."

"I will look forward to it." Mithian smiled, watching him get up awkwardly. He almost walked into a chair in his haste to be out of the room. As the door closed she wondered if he had felt like she just had, or was he merely embarrassed by Mithian touching his hand? It was as if that touch had somehow sparked something deep inside her, that before she had hidden. She closed her eyes trying to make sense of the feeling.

From the moment she had met him something about Merlin had stood out for her. Even now she had struggled to identify what it was. She could point to the fact that she found him warm, funny, excellent company, kind hearted. By the very fact that he had protected Arthur all these years, pointed to the fact that he was also brave and resourceful too. Yet none of those things had prepared her for the fact that she was attracted to him. Thinking it through she now felt rather foolish that she hadn't indeed seen it before, now it was so clear to her. The very thought of her staring into his eyes left her feeling giddy with happiness and delight.

With the thought of it flooding her mind, she found she suddenly had a spring in her step. She hurriedly finished her breakfast anxious to get out into the sunlight and stretch her legs. After putting on her favourite flared skirt, and checking her appearance briefly in the mirror she left her room. As she slowly emerged down the steps, she could already hear the noise outside in the court yard. The smell of freshness encouraged her to leave the citadel and head for the gardens. She had taken to sitting in the rose garden daily, watching about her as Camelot went about its business.

There was something about sitting and watching the world go by which fascinated her. Being a Princess with a role to play at all times, she seldom had such opportunities. So recently she had made the most of having those quiet moments of contentment when for once she could just contemplate the world around her. Except this day was different for she had something or rather someone to think about.

As she remembered the conversation they had had only minutes before, she realised she had never spoken to him about his magic before. She tried to think about that and how it must have affected him in the year since he had been ousted as a Sorcerer. She remembered hearing from a friend of her father's about how he had bravely protected the King and Queen, when Morgana had struck. How his act had briefly led him to exile and banishment. It had been said that Arthur was in utter shock as he was forced to completely review his relationship with his best friend all over again. She could see it from both sides, but she found it hard to think that Merlin could ever do anything in hatred or cruelty.

But then as she sat and thought about it, she realised this was why at times he seemed so elusive to people. Maybe this was part of the problem, she wondered if she herself could assist him. She had always been a good listener, always willing to lend a shoulder to people. She had also been told she was a good reader of people too. But she didn't think that Merlin a man who had lived in the shadows for so long, would find talking about such things easy.

"There you are!"

Gwen's voice cut into Mithian's thoughts, she got up and greeted the Queen.

"Sorry I maybe should have said I was out here. I assumed you and Arthur would have been busy with meetings." Mithian explained.

"I should apologise I feel we've left you a bit to your own devices." Gwen smiled, sitting next to her.

"Nonsense I know how busy you must be at this time. I have enjoyed my quiet ponderings in this beautiful setting." Mithian smiled, pointing around her at the various roses and smelling their lovely scent.

"I must admit this is where I too come to do my thinking, whenever I need to get away from Arthur and Merlin's constant yapping." Gwen admitted. "Jack our gardener has done a lovely job here; it was never this extensive in Uther's day."

"No I imagine Uther had other things on his mind." Mithian shrugged, remembering tales of how Camelot's former ruthless King had run his Kingdom.

"Yes indeed." Gwen agreed.

"Camelot has undergone such changes since I was last here. Magic no longer outlawed that can't have been easy to implement here." Mithian remarked, wanting to know more.

"No it wasn't." Gwen said, looking around her. "In fact it was probably one of the roughest periods of time I can remember. There was so much fallout especially for Arthur and Merlin of course."

"I have heard that you take a lot of credit for getting them back together." Mithian said, wanting to find out as much as she could.

"Oh it wasn't anything huge. Arthur needed time that was all; I had faith that in the end he would know that Merlin would never have harmed anyone. There was a lot of hurt on both sides and I felt so torn between them as well. Even now Merlin behaves as if he has the world on his shoulders, he worries me sometimes. I wish he would learn to share his thoughts and fears." Gwen grimaced.

"Poor Merlin, he is always so attentive to me and such lovely company. But yes I too get the feeling that sometimes he holds back." Mithian mused, looking at her hands.

"Well maybe you can help." Gwen smiled.

"Sorry?" Mithian asked, taken unawares. Mithian wondered if Gwen was aware about her feelings for Merlin, she knew she was a very perceptive person.

"I just think that Merlin needs someone to take him out of himself. Maybe you can get through where Arthur and I can't. Sometimes talking to someone on the outside can help maybe being entirely honest with us and opening up is difficult for him to do. But I am sure with you it would be easier for him."

Mithian stared at Gwen still not quite sure what she meant. But she decided to test the waters more. "Well as it happens we are planning to see if other this afternoon."

"I am glad. Especially as I need to go and see Gaius later on. I am not trying to force anything on you Mithian but I just feel Merlin is relaxed with you. He still has so much on his shoulders and I think at times he needs someone else to unburden himself too."

Mithian suddenly relaxed. "Well I will do my best with him. I am sure as you say an afternoon away from his duties, will not do him any harm."

"No absolutely not." Gwen said getting up, "Thank you MIthian.

Mithian got up and the two friends hugged each other briefly. Mithian sat back down as she watched Gwen disappear back towards the castle. She realised much about what Gwen had said about Merlin, she herself had felt. It was especially the fact that he found it hard to talk to other people, and also the idea that his responsibilities were a big burden on him. As she thought back to what Gwen had said, she wondered if she had as much confidence in her ability to break through Merlin's facade, then her friend had.

She sighed, trying to think about the best approach. Then she suddenly had an idea, and she ran back to the castle.

Later that afternoon Mithian made her way outside to join a nervous looking Merlin in the court yard. She looked at him with affection as she noticed him moving from one foot to another, his heading turning at the same time.

"Sorry I hope I'm not late." She said, standing next to him a smile on her face.

"No of course not Princess." Merlin replied, doing his best to hide his nervousness.

"Mithian." She corrected. "Where do you suggest we go?"

"There is a wood outside the lower town there is a nice little walk we could do, if you are interested." Merlin suggested.

"That sounds lovely." Mithian grinned, slipping her arm through his.

As they walked through the lower town, their conversation became easy and natural. Mithian loved this part of Camelot; it was the heart of the Kingdom in her eyes. She enjoyed watching the people barter, selling their goods, and the lovely smell of roasted nuts that dominated the air around them. Everywhere she looked there was something to see, something to point at. In these moments Merlin was irresistible company. He always had an amusing little comment to say as she questioned him or noticed something. This was the relaxed, happy Merlin a man happy to be just another face in the crowd.

As they passed a fruit store a lady threw him a couple of apples as he walked by. Mithian and Merlin happily ate them as they walked towards the outskirts of the town, and nearer to the woods. The moments the woods beckoned Mithian sensed a difference in Merlin's mood. It was as if a switch had turned on and he appeared to be walking as if in tune with everything around him. As she stared at his face, she could see it soften as he looked around.

"I sense you are really at ease in this wood." Mithian smiled, falling into an easy step with him.

"Yes it is true I do feel at one when I'm near nature." Merlin admitted. "I mean look at those trees, how long do you think they have been here, and what have they seen? It is another world, so different from ours, and yet so much the same as well."

Mithian smiled at his words. "At times you sound so care free, I seldom have the chance for moments such as these. But I have to admit it feels good to have the sun on my face and you by my side."

She noticed Merlin blush slightly at her words, and once again a rush of affection stirred. "So tell me about this walk." She urged him.

"It is a walk I like to do when I need moments to myself, a secret place almost. I don't show many people this place." He smiled.

"I feel very honoured then in that case." Mithian smiled back, truly touched by his explanation. "So it is your little hideaway then?"

"Something like that. When I was growing up in Ealdor there was a similar place near to where I lived with my mother. When I was learning about my magic, I would often hide myself into this little paradise and practice my skills." He smiled, a melancholy look on his face.

Mithian smiled back, happy to see him open up a little bit, suddenly she realised she was dying to

hear more about his life in his home village. "Tell me about Ealdor." She encouraged, looking him in the eyes. Once more she could see his face soften at the memory.

"It was a very ordinary village, very simple life. It is rural most of the people work off the land. At harvest time everyone helps to get it in together. It was a very regimented life, every season certain jobs were done every year, and you had to do your bit otherwise you'd starve." He explained.

"It was very different to my existence then." MIthian smiled. "I loved my life though I missed my mother of course. But I wanted for nothing, my father saw to that. But I could never be free the way I wanted to be sometimes. Being born a Princess brings with it certain responsibilities."

By now they had come to a little patch of forest that was sheltered by a big ancient oak tree, it's branches hung down giving the area some cover from the hot sun. Mithian couldn't resist looking up to the top of the enormous tree. It dominated the landscape of this part of the forest. As she looked around the area, she noticed some fruit bushes a few yards away. She ran over picking some blackberries, taking delight in devouring them.

She ran back over to Merlin offering him one, as he opened his mouth she threw it in, but before he had the chance to eat it she kissed him on the mouth. The act took him by such surprise that he almost choked on the blackberry, his eyes searching hers in amazement.

"Sorry I couldn't resist." Mithian laughed. She walked over to him wiping around his mouth, with her hankie. "I'm sorry was my kiss that bad!"

Merlin burst out laughing. "No not at all you just took me by surprise that's all. I have never been kissed by a Princess before!"

"You just looked so adorable I couldn't resist." She replied, happily.

"Now you are teasing me." Merlin grinned.

"No I find you delightful company." Mithian said, "I'm always so surprised that you find that hard to believe."

"If Arthur could hear you say that, he'd laugh his head off." Merlin pointed out, outstretching his hand to her.

"Well I'm not Arthur am I?" Mithian replied, accepting his hand and sitting next to him.

"Well considering what's just happened, I'm rather relieved about that!" Merlin replied and they both laughed out loud.

For a couple of minutes they sat there in contented silence just looking about them. Mithian enjoyed his closeness to her, their shoulders touching, hearing his relaxed breathing in her ear. For those moments she felt totally at peace with the world. It was as if they had slowed down, to match the pace of life in the forest. She could hear a Blackbird singing further down the row of trees, and the soft humming of a bee on one of the flowers nearby.

"This is such a beautiful place." Mithian said, breaking the silence regretfully, but suddenly she felt restless to know more about him. "Tell me about your magic Merlin."

He turned his head around to her's staring at her intently. "You really want to know?"

"Yes I do." Mithian replied, matching his stare.

"When I'm in a place like this, it is as if it is an extension of myself. It connects with everything here that is why I am so relaxed when I am here. I am off this world, my magic is so deep inside of me that you cannot separate me from it."

Mithian watched him in fascination as he explained; once more his face had a softness to it, for a second she longed to touch it, but was afraid of interrupting his thoughts. So she tried to concentrate and understand the world from which he belonged.

"So you are saying it is with you all the time, even when you sleep?" she asked.

"Yes." Merlin smiled, resting his head back on the tree. "I have been woken up many a time due to my magic."

"That must be annoying sometimes." Mithian suggested, trying to think it through.

"Well it depends, if something is trying to kill me, I'm rather glad!" Merlin laughed.

"I hadn't thought of it like that." Mithian said, returning his laugh. "Has that happened to you?"

"Yes a few times." Merlin shrugged. "Once they even woke Gaius and that was spectacular."

Mithian laughed, encouraging Merlin to join in suddenly. Only when they stopped had Mithian discovered how close they had become. She had no idea who had instigated it but before she knew it their lips were touching, and the next thing she knew her arms were around his neck, as their passion grew. Just as she was getting into it, he sprung up, causing her to spring back in surprise.

"Princess I'm so sorry!" he cried out, obviously embarrassed. "I don't know what came over me."

She went over to him, putting her hands on his shoulders. "It is all right Merlin I'm not complaining."

"Even so I shouldn't have done it." Merlin said, his face suddenly reluctant to look at her.

"That is the trouble with being a Princess." Mithian mused, "Too many rules, always being told I can't do certain things. What if I said I want to be with you?"

Merlin looked at her in amazement. "Why _would_ you want to be with me?"

"Because I think you are a wonderful man, and I doubt I would find a noble as lovely as you." Mithian said, looking at the ground.

There was a pause before he spoke again, "I know you will find someone worthy of you Mithian, and I wish with all my heart it could be me. But my destiny ties me to Camelot, to Arthur."

"I see." Mithian replied, feeling her eyes fill up with tears, and hating herself for showing such weakness.

"Please don't cry Mithian." Merlin said, attempting to dry her eyes with his hankie awkwardly.

"We had better get back to Camelot." Mithian said, quietly picking up her bag and walking away.

The journey back was very different to the one before. A couple of occasions Merlin tried to start a conversation, but Mithian was in no mood for small talk. She felt like her heart was breaking as she pondered his words. She had so been looking forward to her stay in Camelot now she just wanted to leave and go straight back to Nemeth.

As they approached the citadel she noticed Gwen looking out of the window, but she was in no mood to talk even with her friend, she just wanted the comfort of her room where she could let go of her emotions properly.

She knew he was still behind her, and she prepared to close the door between them, but he put his hand on it to stop her.

"I'm sorry Mithian I don't know what else to say?" He said, simply.

"There is nothing is say." Mithian said, feeling guilty as she could see his pain on his face as he stared at her.

"Thank you for the afternoon, I just wish it could have ended differently." He said, before moving away down the corridor.

She watched him go with a heavy heart before closing the door, and throwing herself down on the bed. But suddenly the tears that had threatened to overcome her were not there, all she had was an ache in her heart as she remembered his words echoing around her head. As she sat there in silence she wondered how she could face him knowing what she did now. She laid her aching head on the bed, and closed her eyes as sleep eventually claimed her.

 **To be Continued.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Love Is A Losing Game (By Amy Winehouse)**

Summary: This is the second of my three Merthian stories. Here Mithian has to try and understand how Merlin's destiny is joined to Arthur's. It is only through a conversation with a good friend that she realises just what she has to do to finally convince him that they can be together.

 _Though I battle blind_

 _Love is a fate resigned_

 _Memories mar my mind_

 _Love is a fate resigned_

 _Over futile odds_

 _And laughed at by the gods_

 _And now the final frame_

 _Love is a losing game_

The very next day Mithian decided to take an early morning stroll outside in the meadow. She smiled as she felt the sunshine on her face, she headed away towards were the flowers were in bloom, their scent leading her further and further away from the citadel. She found a spot under a willow tree and rested her head on it. Before she knew it the conversation she'd had with Merlin came back into her mind.

She still struggled to make sense of his reasoning for rejecting her. As she re-lived his words about his destiny tying him to Arthur and Camelot, she longed to know more so that she could understand him better. She had heard stories about how Merlin and Arthur were inseparable, and how they had come through numerous quests and challenges. Indeed she had seen one at first hand. But did that really mean that Merlin would be forced to never have any happiness of his own? To have no life of his own, other than serving Arthur? Somehow she just couldn't accept that on Merlin's behalf.

She understood as she herself was a Princess, that sometimes in life you didn't have many choices, that sometimes you were forced to follow a certain path. But did that really mean that any chance of personal happiness had to be pushed aside, sacrificed for the greater good? The more she'd got to know Merlin in her numerous visit's to Camelot, the more she came to the impression that he used his destiny as a shield. It was as if he was afraid of branching out on his own, as he had spent so much of his life as Arthur's selfless friend and protector.

She had tried to understand how much his life had changed in the past year, how being banished away from Camelot had hurt him deeply inside. She could accept that he was desperate to continue to support Arthur, in his quest to unite the Five Kingdoms. But as she watched him from afar it seemed to her that little had changed, from when his magic was a secret. He appeared to still be living on the outside, in the shadows alone and elusive.

Yet yesterday she had sensed a moment when he was desperate for a different kind of life. The feelings they had shared that afternoon, she refused to believe they had meant nothing. She could see it in his face, feel it in how he held her. She felt as if the shield he'd protected himself with, had briefly come adrift, and that for the first time she had glimpsed the real Merlin. She closed her eyes and briefly remembered how he had opened his soul to her and shared his secrets with her. She smiled at the memory of his softening face as he told her about his magic, and how it was an extension of his very being.

Suddenly she knew she could not give up on him yet. She now realized she had made a partial breakthrough with him, now she had to find a way to disentangle his doubts all together. She thought back to her father and his words about how he had married for love, rather than the arranged marriage that had been planned for him. Rodor himself had always made it clear to Mithian that although he could not guarantee it, if she had found someone worthy of her love, he would try and allow it to occur. Her older brother Olwyn was the heir to the throne after all, Mithian did not doubt that he would be the one to lead Nemeth into Albion and beyond. Once Mithian's proposed marriage to Arthur had broken down, Rodor knew there were few suitable suitors for his beloved daughter. But Mithian still understood that fate may yet play a hand in her future, which is why she could never forgive herself, if she just gave up without a fight. Somehow she must make Merlin see that they would be good together. But how she wondered wearily?

Just as she was about to lose hope again she saw a figure up ahead. The man was bending down and picking some flowers, she smiled when she realized that he was only yards from her. He hadn't seen her curled up under the willow, so she contented herself watching him carefully picking the daisies, with his long graceful fingers. She guessed these would be for Gwen, her friend had laughed as she admitted it was Merlin that mainly chose her flowers rather than Arthur. The figure suddenly stopped looking ahead of him, staring straight at Mithian. She suddenly felt awkward as if she had been spying on him, but took a deep breath as he slowly walked over to her.

"Mithian I didn't see you. What are you doing here all by yourself, you need to be careful." Merlin said, his face a picture of concern.

Mithian got up, "I was careful I often go strolling on my own at home." She replied, smiling down his concerns. "Are these for Gwen by any chance?"

Merlin grinned. "Well Arthur actually, although yes I do believe he will give them to Gwen."

"I hope so any other explanation could cause assumptions." Mithian laughed, watching the dawning of horror on Merlin's face as he realized what she'd meant by the comment.

"Good God no, Arthur has asked for many things from me but thankfully not flowers!" Merlin assured her, sharing the joke. "Between you and me I don't think he quite understands the point of them."

Mithian laughed, "You on the other hand have no such problems."

"No indeed, in fact daisies are among my favourites this time of year." Merlin admitted. "I'm, I'm really relieved that we can still talk, I was afraid after yesterday that things would be awkward between us."

"I am not one to bear a grudge Merlin you should know that." Mithian said, "Although that doesn't mean I have given up entirely on us."

"Mithian." Merlin muttered his eyes clouding over for a second.

"I just want to understand better Merlin, please don't shut me out." Mithian pleaded, "I feel we have some things in common and all I want in a chance to express that. Surely you won't deny me that?"

After a pause while he dithered moving from one foot to the other he answered. "No I think you deserve that at least. I am busy today but maybe tomorrow we can meet then." Merlin suggested.

"Tomorrow it is then." Mithian agreed. "Can I walk back with you?"

"Of course." Merlin replied.

They fell into an easy step, even now his closeness thrilled Mithian, their hands almost touching as they walked together. Every now and then she would stare at him, once he caught her doing it, and returned a goofy smile. She blushed as if he'd caught her unexpectedly, before attempting to make a bad joke to cover up for her behaviour.

How she hated when the citadel became closer and closer, when they would have to part, and she would be left feeling frustrated and saddened. As they came into the court yard Mithian could see already how busy it was becoming. There were people coming and going a man selling fruit in the corner, who was in a loud conversation with a young Knight. Some children ran out in front of Merlin almost causing him to drop the flowers, in his haste to stay on his feet. Mithian laughed as she watched him struggle, as he came to an ungainly stop.

After a pause, Merlin turned to her, looking regretful. "I need to take these in, I'm sorry I have no time today. But we will have an opportunity to meet tomorrow."

"In that case I will look forward for tomorrow." Mithian replied, hoping she didn't look as unhappy as she felt. "I need to spend some time with Gwen anyway."

"I'll wish you a good day then." Merlin answered, their hands briefly touching.

"Don't work too hard." She smiled.

He nodded as he left her, Mithian watched him go already wishing it was tomorrow. It was true that she and Gwen needed some time together, she suddenly realized that maybe her friend could give her a little more advice. Mithian was still struggling about how she could break through Merlin's doubts. But she now knew she had a day to come up with something, and more than ever she was determined to find a way.

Mithian had tried to wish away the day as quickly as possible, but it seemed to be never-ending. After Gwen was rushed into a meeting she was left to ponder things alone, not the first time. If usually came back to the exact same thing, Merlin and his destiny. She tried to put herself in his shoes, to be told constantly that his one path in life was to protect someone. She accepted in the end that this was something Merlin would never be talked out of.

But she knew that she could give him something, the love that he was crying out for, even if he didn't know it. As she was a Princess she understood well sacrifice and duty, she'd also had it knocked into her from a young age. She even remembered the day her father had explained to her, that she would be married off to Arthur. She had accepted it as the price of being born a Princess. But when it didn't happen she had learnt never to take anything for granted. She had accepted that sometimes there could always be an unexpected occurrence in life that you couldn't always plan for.

Merlin on the other hand didn't appear to accept that, and she needed to know if there was another reason for that, other than the obvious one his destiny. If it was just a case of him thinking he was

not good enough for her, then Mithian was sure she could change his mind on that. She realised the person to ask about that was her friend Gwen, who she guessed understood the relationship between Merlin and Arthur better than anyone.

An hour later the two women were in the gardens enjoying the last of the sun, Gwen in particular was pleased to be away from the meeting that had been scheduled at the last minute.

"This has to be my favourite moment of the day, with the sun setting around the citadel." She smiled, pointing off in the distance.

"It is true I have seen some beautiful sunsets in Camelot." Mithian admitted, wondering how she was going to ask the question she wanted to. Suddenly she was shy about talking about her day with Merlin.

As if sensing her reluctance Gwen did it for her. "You never told me how the day went with Merlin yesterday." The Queen asked, curiously. "Yet I sense there is something bothering you."

Mithian laughed, "I knew you would guess eventually."

The two women laughed, but then Gwen looked at her seriously. "You know there is nothing you can't ask me."

So Mithian relived her experience and what Merlin had said, it seemed to Mithian that Gwen did not seem to be especially surprised by Merlin's reaction to Mithian.

"I know you wanted me to open him up somewhat, it seems I've done the opposite." Mithian ended, despairingly.

"I don't think so. By the sound of it he did open up to you during the afternoon, just like I knew he would." Gwen smiled, "Nothing you've said has surprised me, Merlin denying himself is quite normal. He has a huge sense of duty, more than any I have known anyone have before. He is very humble and I am sure he is totally adamant that he deserves no one." Gwen said, a look of exasperation on her face.

"I take it you don't agree?" Mithian laughed, despite her frustrations.

"I have been trying to fix up Merlin for ages. It is one of the hardest things I have ever attempted to do . Every time he back-tracks, and avoids any woman I try to fix him up with. It is usually because

he doesn't have enough time, or that is what he tells me. When I point out that he could plan his own day to allow such pleasures, then the old excuses about doing some of Arthur's chores fall out of his mouth!"

Mithian laughed again, believing every word that Gwen had uttered. She could just imagine Merlin doing everything, she'd just described.

"What is the secret of Merlin and Arthur's relationship Gwen? What drives it, I feel like it is a real blockade between us, and unless I understand I feel I will always struggle convincing him of anything."

"After Merlin had come back from his enforced exile from Camelot he sat down and tried to explain everything to Arthur and myself. His childhood when he'd first learnt of his magical skills, to the

time he'd left Ealdor and arrived in Camelot, before he began serving Arthur. All the way through he would speak of us when speaking about Arthur and himself. It was as though he just accepted there was no him, and only the two of them. It always bothered me, and Arthur actually."

"It is as if he just sees himself as part of a relationship and that takes any place of any other for himself." Mithian said, slowly trying to take it in to understand it.

"Yes exactly." Gwen agreed. "I still think there is room for another relationship in his life, it just means being able to break through his selfless nature and stubbornness, to convince him that he deserves someone special as well. Somehow you have got to get through that haze inside his head that tells him he cannot have both."

"But how?" Mithian asked, genuinely stuck for ideas.

"Just by being yourself Mithian. You more than anyone have broken through some of Merlin's doubts. You only have to watch the two of you together, to know that something exists between you. You must be bold about it my dear, stride through his insecurities and prove to him that you can give him something, that even Arthur cannot."

"You are right once again." Mithian smiled, suddenly feeling more confident and determined in her mind. "We are spending tomorrow afternoon together, and I am determined that he will see a side to me that he will not forget!"

Gwen laughed, "Now that I would love to see, if there is anything Arthur or I can do let us know."

"Arthur?" Mithian questioned. "You mean even Arthur is trying to get him fixed up?"

Gwen giggled. "You'll be amazed how even Arthur is being driven mad by Merlin's singular vision. Merlin means the world to him of course, but even he would be grateful to see some woman come along and give him a different kind of life. It would complete Merlin in a way even he doesn't realise."

"That is very true, I realised that for myself when I left Camelot the first time, when Arthur called off our marriage. I was so envious when he explained about you and the love that you shared with each other. I would honestly give up any of my riches to experience the same thing." Mithian confessed, realising she still felt the same way, as she did when she'd been forced to leave Camelot all those years ago.

"Don't despair Mithian I think it is nearer then you think. You just have to train him into accepting it for himself. Once that happens, then your happiness will be complete." Gwen said, a look of real respect in her eye for the woman next to her.

"Thank you Gwen, for making me realise what it is I have to do. I will get an early night I think and prepare myself for tomorrow." Mithian said, getting up and kissing her friend before she walked away back to her room.

Her thoughts were now only full of determination she knew that tomorrow she needed to break through Merlin's defences, and she would she vowed to herself. Looking up she spotted him walking across the courtyard his mind seemingly a million miles away. She took a moment to study him, and realised just how much he meant to her. She just could not accept that they could never be together, they were meant to be she told herself. As she thought that his face looked her way, and slowly a smile broke across his face, that melted her heart. Tomorrow would be the day she finally got through to him, and her dreams would at last come true.

5


	3. Chapter 3

**In The Heat of the Morning**

 _I'll tie a knot in rainbow's end_

 _Challenge the trees_

 _Light my candle from the sun_

 _I'll give you daylight for a friend_

 _I'll do all of these_

 _I'll prove that it can be done_

 _Oh, I'm so much in love_

 _Like the little boy that races with the wind_ **(By The Shadow Puppets)**

To Mithian's disgust the weather had changed dramatically when she woke up. She watched despondently as rain lashed down the window. The skies all around looked darkened and the clouds full of rain. Everything she'd been thinking about doing had relied on a beautiful day, and it now seemed that she had to alter her plans somewhat. As she silently fumed, a knock on her door interrupted her thoughts. As she called come in a familiar face popped around the door.

"I was just checking to see we were still on for this afternoon." Merlin smiled, raising his eyebrow mischievously.

"I can assure you it will take more than a few rain showers to deter me!" Mithian smiled, and encouraged him to come in and sit down. "What are you doing this morning anyway?"

"Oh I have a few tiresome documents to go through, and a brief meeting with Arthur to attend too." Merlin said, pouring them some water. "I thought we could take the horses out and go for a ride, I've been told it will be clear this afternoon."

"That sounds lovely I love that grey mare." Mithian said, "She reminds me of the first horse I had back in Nemeth."

"The groom claims that Persia has a strong nature but I like you find she is quite easy to handle." Merlin commented, eating a few grapes.

"She is certainly easier than some of the other horses I've had to ride. We had one chesnut that broke his stable he had such a ferocious kick on him."Mithian grinned, reliving the scene again.

Merlin laughed, "It is usually me that ends up being kicked, especially when I ride out with Arthur and the Knights."

"I think that maybe the horses have sensed you have moved up in the world, and now treat you accordingly." Mithian remarked, jokingly.

"Is that how it is with horses? I am almost disappointed I always saw them as rebels somehow!" Merlin said, looking mockingly disappointed at Mithian's suggestion.

"Well maybe Camelot's horses are different. It seemed that ours were always kicking off about something." Mithian said.

"Camelot's horses have probably picked up on the prat's habit of being impressed by breeding and status. They will doubtless put me in my place at some time or another." Merlin remarked, a resigned look on his face.

Mithian laughed, "Merlin I think you do yourself down, that just won't do!"

Merlin got up making for the door, "I will work on it before we meet again this afternoon." He grinned, bowing to her.

"You see that you do, otherwise the horses and I will have to show you how to behave."

"Well now that I would like to see." Merlin laughed, "I will see you later."

"I will look forward to it." Mithian confirmed, a hearty laugh coming out as the door closed.

All of a sudden her heart swelled once again, and determination took over her features as she considered the afternoon ahead. She decided to get her best trousers out of her bag and she hunted around for an appropriate blouse to wear with them. She found the pretty white silk garment her father had brought her on her last birthday. She inspected it in the daylight, satisfied it had survived the journey sufficiently.

After a brief rest she decided to go on a quick walk, around the gardens. Once she had crossed the court yard and left the hustle and bustle behind her, she breathed in the solace of quietness that suddenly surrounded her. The roses were all coming into bloom now and she felt high on the beautiful smell of scent that flowed around her. At this moment nothing could break her sense of serenity, even the battle with Merlin which lay ahead. A battle she decided she would not lose.

When she considered how down she'd been when he had initially dashed her hopes, and then compared her mood at breakfast, the moment he walked in the room, she knew she couldn't be without him. It was not that she didn't understand his concerns, but to her they were all so unimportant. If one thing had taught her that, it was Arthur and Gwen. Their story above all others she would take inspiration from. It felt so right that in the brave new world that Arthur and Merlin were developing that love would conquer over mere duty.

For so long in the old world duty had been everything to the older generation. But now things were starting to change, now that the boundaries were opening up. There was no longer just one way of living, but many different ones. Traditions were starting to change and take on new directions. The day Arthur had chosen a mere servant to become his wife and Queen a new premise had been set by him.

The day Mithian had left Camelot having been turned down by Arthur, she had felt both humiliated and if she was honest a bit bitter too. Her dignity had been affronted her pride had taken a hit. But then through the following months as she'd thought about it more clearly, she realized that this way of love over duty could be a decision for the better. Suddenly the old ways seemed just like that, old and used up, a new way were all sorts of possibilities could thrive, in a brave new world. A world where a King could marry for love, were people like herself suddenly had a choice and not just their duty.

As Mithian made her way back across the court yard a sense of optimism caught a hold of her, she was restless to start her journey about convincing Merlin, that what he had set up for his friends, he himself could also have. The more Mithian thought about it the more she became convinced that what lay at the heart of Merlin's concerns was a fear of reaction rather than any deep seated reason. He after all had been there at the heart of his friend's battle to be together, and he more than anyone knew how tough taking a different course could be.

She arrived back in her room and quickly dressed into her riding clothes. She remembered to put on the lucky charm bracelet that had been a gift from her mother. As she looked nostalgically at it on her wrist she briefly remembered her dear mother, another person who was prepared to fight for what she felt was worth it. She smiled for a second in memory of a woman who she only had a fleeting memory about, but still felt the presence of every day, thanks to her father who never stopped mentioning her.

Satisfied she looked the part Mithian grabbed her bag and ran out of her room, her excitement for what lay ahead rising. By the time she'd made her way outside the sun was shining down on the court yard. She smiled at the sight of the big beautiful white mare that stood waiting for her. Her mane had been platted and she stood and admired the work for a second.

Merlin was already on his horse a big black stallion who was already showing impatience to move away. Merlin pulled on his reigns to calm him down, patting him as he did so.

"What a beautiful horse!" Mithian smiled, stroking her head, before climbing on top of her.

"I am glad she passes the Nemeth standard of approval." Merlin grinned. "I think mine will be a proper handful."

"Let's see how she performs today." Mithian grinned. "Be prepared to be left behind Mr Court Sorcerer!"

Mithian kicked her horse and she bounded away leaving Merlin at a stand-still. By the time he had arrived through the gate Mithian was already galloping out into the country. She breathed in the fresh air, and made the most of the feel of the sun shining down. She barely noticed the changing countryside as she released her mounts inhibitions. She could hear Merlin and his horse slowly catching up, and encouraged her mount to open up again. She responded with a light neigh, that brought a smile to the Princesses face.

After a few minutes of hard galloping, Mithian sensed that Merlin and his horse were finding the pace tough. She decided to ease off slightly giving him more of a chance to catch up. She couldn't help but smile as he eventually came alongside her. His face was bright red, as though he himself was doing the galloping.

"I'm so glad you've given us a chance." He grimaced. "I'm not the fastest of riders at the best of times. I like to admire the scenery as I ride. It seems you Aristocrats cannot control your competitive drives. Arthur is just the same the number of times I've had this same conversation with him."

"I'm sorry maybe you are right about our natural competitiveness. Ever since I was a girl my only ambition was to ride faster than my older brother. He got the first of everything of course, so I was always determined to beat him whenever I could." Mithian laughed.

Merlin shook his head. "There you see I was right. The first time I rode a horse I was terrified. Coming from a village like Ealdor the only horses we saw belonged to rich people who visited us to buy supplies. I use to think they were ferocious things."

"The rich visitors or the horses?" Mithian laughed.

"Oh both!" Merlin laughed back. "It is only when you leave your home and learn about the world and the way it works, that you really understand anything."

There was a pause for a moment that made Mithian wonder if this was where Merlin's feeling of never thinking he was quite good enough for her came from. She was determined to prove him wrong.

"But surely you know now that just because you came from a humble background it doesn't mean you cannot move in a world of Kings. I mean everything you and Arthur have achieved should be able to tell you that by now." Mithian insisted, making sure she met his eyes. For a second they stayed like that, and yet again Mithian was taken aback by just how blue his eyes were.

"You always manage to say such profound things." Merlin smiled, "You make me believe like I should believe in miracles, or that there is nothing I can't do."

"You should believe in yourself, your whole life is proof about that. Look about where you've come from and everything that you have overcome to get this far. I think you're an amazing man. I also think Arthur would not be the man he is today without you by his side." Mithian said, as if daring him to deny the claim.

There was a pause before Merlin stuttered. "Let's take a break for a moment."

Mithian followed his lead stopping her horse, noticing a steam up ahead she led the horses over to it, leaving them to drink. By the time she had got back Merlin had laid out a blanket on the ground, and had started laying down food all around.

"I didn't know we were having a picnic." She sighed, clasping her hands together in delight. "I don't think I've had one of these since I was a little girl."

Merlin smiled, "In that case it was a good idea of Gwen to suggest this."

Mithian laughed, "I might have known she was behind this." She helped him to unload the basket licking her lips at the box of strawberries lovingly prepared. Her competitive edge kicking in she went to pinch one, to discover that Merlin had used his magic to whip it away from her. "Ah that is cheating!" she cried.

"Of course, well you are the one who says I must use my talents." He teased her, giving her a little wink.

"I suppose I did, so I can't complain too much I guess." She grinned, quickly pinching a strawberry as he went to put it down.

Merlin saw her too late, and ended up half lying over her, making them both laugh.

"I am sorry." Merlin laughed, straightening himself awkwardly.

"I'm not." Mithian grinned, smiling slyly at him. "In fact if I had magic I would have kept you there for a very long time."

Merlin smiled despite himself. "I'm sure you would have. I know what you women are like."

They tucked into the picnic both of them suddenly hungry after their ride, as Mithian took a drink she watched him closely. For a man who claimed he was clumsy he had a very precise and neat way of eating. The redness on his cheeks showed his graceful bone structure more than usual. She fought an erratic urge to run her finger along it. She thought in frustration as to why he found it so hard to believe her feelings for him. How could a man who was so prepared to serve a King be so reluctant to believe a Princess could love him? To Mithian it made no sense at all.

"Merlin don't you ever have an urge to do something outside of your destiny?" she asked, him suddenly. She didn't really expect him to answer the question, but to her surprise after taking a few minutes to consider it he did.

"Yes quite often, more times than I like to admit. Sometimes it would be nice to think that I could wake up not thinking about having to follow the path I've been given. Before I arrived in Camelot my magic became almost like a prison to me. I couldn't perform anything in front of people, just in case. When my journey began I thought I would end up in a place where magic could be freely used, a place where I could express myself. But then I ended up in Camelot a place where using magic could result in death. It felt like I had gone back to the beginning of my life again."

Mithian put her hand softly over his. "That must have been a real disappointment to you."

"To begin with, but once I discovered what my true destiny and the reason I'd been given my magic was it was like starting over again. Even if serving Arthur in the beginning was not as easy as it is now. God he was a prat in those early days." Merlin laughed.

Mithian giggled. "I couldn't believe the first time I heard you call him that."

"I've called him worse." Merlin laughed. "But I always knew deep down that he had a good heart, that he believed in the right things, and would always do things for the right reasons. I could never serve anyone who wasn't like that. Once we learnt to get to know each other, our relationship developed. Sometimes I know what he is thinking before he does."

"Really?" Mithian asked. It wasn't that she doubted it, only that she was surprised that he would admit such things to her. For the first time she began to sense why it was he was so adamant that there was no room in his life for anyone else. Maybe he was right after all, and it was a hopeless dream.

Mithian jumped, as she felt his hand on hers lightly. She lifted her face staring at him, and was struck by just how sad he suddenly looked.

"Mithian I've upset you, I'm sorry." Merlin said, his eyes clouding over.

"No you haven't." Mithian lied, "I did ask the question after all. I suppose I didn't realize how deep your and Arthur's relationship was."

Merlin gently wiped the solitary tear away that had run down her face. She was annoyed that she had showed such weakness, now he would close up again she thought to herself. But surprisingly he didn't.

"Mithian you are such a special person. " Merlin said gently touching her face. "You make me feel actually good about myself, you make think I can achieve things. I have spent so much of my time hiding, worrying about how things would turn out. Being with you I have the confidence to look back and realize just what I have managed. I thank you for that."

"In that case our time together has not been a waste of time." Mithian said, sitting up and taking a deep breath, happy that at least he was acknowledging the good qualities she had always known he possessed.

"Don't ever think our time together has been a waste." Merlin said, taking hold of her hand. "From the moment I met you, you have never shown me anything other than respect and friendship. It is probably more than I deserve considering how I treated you the first time we met."

"You were protecting your friend's position I understood that." Mithian assured him. "I've not been perfect if it wasn't for me you would not have been attacked."

"That was Morgana's fault not yours." Merlin interrupted. "I think what I'm trying to say."

"Merlin you don't have to say anything, I would rather have you as a friend than nothing at all." Mithian sniffed, squeezing his hand back.

"Will you let me finish?" Merlin smiled, "It is only through my time spent with you, that I have come to realize I don't need to do everything alone. Suddenly I can see that I don't have to be on my own anymore, only serving my destiny. Like you said we've achieved already everything that had needed to be done. Now we just have to make sure everything stays in place."

"What are you saying?" Mithian asked, a fleeting feeling of hope stirring inside of her.

"As long as you understand I must always serve Arthur, and providing that is not a problem for you, I see no reason as to why we should not be together." Merlin explained. "I want to have you in my life Mithian, you make me feel so happy. I still don't quite understand what you see in me."

"Merlin!" Mithian cried, throwing her arms around his neck. "I thought you were going say no again, and now I feel so happy I could cry."

"I always thought proposals were suppose to make women happy not sad!" Merlin said, confused.

"Proposal?" Mithian asked, a sly smile on her lips. "I always had in mind that the man who asked me to marry him, would get down on his knees and ask."

Merlin looked at her for a moment. "Yes?" He said, taking a good look around. "Okay then."

Mithian could barely stop giggling as she watched him climbed on to one knee, and take her hand. He continued to take it most seriously even as she tried to control herself.

"Mithian will you please marry me?" Merlin asked, a twinkle in his eye.

Mithian paused for full effect, the moment she saw him looking a bit doubtful she threw herself into his arms. "Of course I will." They kissed and rolled over ending up on the blanket, right by the strawberries. Merlin fed her one, she giggled as it went down. All of a sudden she could do nothing but laugh, she felt so crazily happy.

"I will have to ask your father for your hand of course." Merlin prompted. "Do you think he'll allow it?"

"Leave my father to me, he will be fine." Mithian promised.

"One of the best things is at least it will mean the end of Gwen trying to fix me up. I wouldn't even like to think about where some of those women came from!" Merlin grumbled.

Mithian laughed. "I think both Arthur and Gwen will be very pleased, all they have ever wanted is for you to have some happiness."

"Yes I know how do you think you'll take to living in Camelot?" Merlin asked. "I hope its not too boring for you."

"Boring?" Mithian cried. "Merlin I love Camelot beautiful place can't think of anywhere else I would like to live. I will doubtless miss Nemeth but I'm sure they'll be visits home."

"I just want you to be happy." Merlin said, simply.

"Before you proposed you were saying you can't think of why I would want to marry you. The reason is you do make me happy, you are a good person who brings out the best in everyone around you. Why would any woman not want that? That's not to say we won't have our hard times, but I know we'll get through those, if we trust one another." Mithian said, starting to pack up.

"I do trust you." Merlin said, "With you I feel like I could achieve anything."

"You already have achieved miracles, now it's your turn to get your reward." Mithian promised.

"I already have my reward." Merlin smiled.

By the time they'd arrived back at Camelot the sun was going down, and they briefly spent time watching the sun disappear over the trees. They had just begun to kiss when they were disturbed by a nosey voice.

"What the hell do you think you are doing kissing the Princess of Nemeth?"

Merlin turned around to face an inquisitive Arthur followed by Gwen beaming away running down the steps.

"Didn't I tell you he was a prat?" Merlin murmured.

But Mithian had already been enveloped into a hug by Gwen. Watching his wife and her friend for a moment Arthur put his hand on Merlin's shoulder looking at him straight in the face.

"Well done old friend we thought you'd never ask her!" Arthur said.

"I came to my senses in the end." Merlin replied, "I hope you will have a nice apartment for my wife and I."

"I dare say we can find you somewhere, just make sure you don't mess up her names when you marry though."

"What you mean like you did? Didn't you marry Gwen's mother instead?" Merlin grinned, slapping Arthur in the back.

"Thank you Merlin for that! We won't go there again." Arthur coughed.

Merlin laughed. "Thank you for all your support, I wouldn't have got here without you or Gwen."

"What are friends for?" Arthur said, as they ended up clasping their arms, never had the bond been stronger or more meaningful.

Mithian smiled as she watched her future husband and his friend hug one another. They would never admit it to anyone else, but she could sense the brotherly love they had for one another, and she would never separate that, no matter what. But as she thought of the future she remembered what her father had said all those years ago. "My petal sometimes if someone means that much to you, you just have to make it happen. Well Mithian thought happily, she just had.

 **The End.**


End file.
